Monkey is my third partner.

I had two exes; first of which was from another state that I saw up to 5 times a year at most and I never really got comfortable being physically around due to growing up in a girl school and all. I was and still am a slow learner when it comes to relationships, and that one year plus duration with little time around each other was not enough for me to learn what a relationship should be like. One day when I was 17 and close to having an important exam, he decided he was tired and he doesn’t love me anymore, and he broke up with me over a text. I cried the whole way to school in the school bus while other passengers were sleeping, and one of my best friends comforted me.

On my 18^thbirthday, I got together with a friend’s ex, something foolish to do for various reasons than just the obvious. By our 6^th month together he has been through with two other girls, and although I gave him one chance when it first happened, I asked to just break up the second time because I could tell he wasn’t interested anymore and it would just keep happening. I knew this would happen, and I thought I could try to ‘play around’, not put too much emotions into it because while he was together with my friend he asked for my help to ask another super pretty friend of mine what she thought about him, that very friend who comforted me when I broke up with my first ex. He likes her. I was barely even 19 when that relationship ended. I didn’t cry.

When I got to know monkey, things were okay for a while. Then one day, he found out that while he has been heartbroken over his 3^rd ex, thinking that they could still have a chance together, that said ex was with someone else very shortly after she left him. You can probably guess what happened if a person breaks up with someone only to go with someone else immediately. We all know. He fell to a very low point; refusing to talk to people, getting insomnia, driving around trying to feel better. I thought I was already super close to him and I kept trying to get him to talk. He finally told me what happened. He sounded like how the most of us would when things like that happen; Dejected, angry, upset, no longer trustful with anyone and especially this whole thing called ‘love’.  

“Relationships aren’t worth it, there’s no point to it, it wouldn’t last anyways. You’re giving so much for nothing in return. There’s just no point.” Etc etc. You get the idea. I asked him to give me a chance to prove him wrong if he willing to and only if he felt that he’s ready. Studying a little bit of psychology, I believed that if all else fails, I could try to shock him through that sudden message he probably never expected for him to snap out of it. I think that worked a little. 

Anyway, that turning point opened the door to so much more possibilities and plenty of good in relationships that I never really experienced. He willingly drives over half an hour or so to come and visit me whenever he could, without me asking him to meet up. He’d ask me if there were any movies I wanted to watch, and bring me out and about. He even tried to pay for my meals, which I am aware is a relatively normal thing but something I was not used to nevertheless. I was very confused about it all at the beginning. To put it frankly, I was not expecting all the nice things he was going to be doing throughout our relationship from the very beginning.

“You are spending a lot of time with me. Is this really what you want? You don’t have to, you know?” I was concerned that he was using up his money to get more petrol for the trip to my area, getting strained or tired from all that driving almost 3 to 4 times a week. I was worried that he was spending time with me out of obligation, and that he felt I was a clingy person. I was wrong though, I didn’t have to worry at all. He spent time with me because he wanted to, just like I did. This was something so simple, something that seem to be so very normal among couples and yet at that point, a completely new concept to me. He was genuinely nice to me, and I realized what I have been missing out in my past relationships.

He always asked me what made him different, and why I insist on being with him as much as I did throughout our relationship issues. I can't pin down exactly why, and all I could tell him was 'because it's you. Specifically, you." I'm definitely not the best at showing my appreciation for all his efforts, but I'm always grateful when he shows up at my door after his classes or work, smiling, telling me he's going to be spending a few hours with me that evening.

Above all things, the time he puts aside for me is something that I am most grateful for. As busy as he gets, there’s always text messages at the very least, and on days when there’s enough time even now when he’s having morning classes, he’d meet up with me for breakfast near my house before he goes on his way to the campus about 20 minutes away.

He spares his time for me and that’s all the difference I needed, even if I didn’t know it at first.

Thank you baby 💖